My Brother Asks: "Who Killed Baby Girl 'Possum?"

The following message was sent to me by my brother Larry:

C'mon.

Opossums just don't up and die unless they get hit by a car while clinging to their mother's back while crossing a busy highway. I think a cursory investigation is in order.

I immediately have two suspects. Suspect No. 1:

Cheryl was upper-middle aged, like Zosia and I. She was thin, wiry, physically fit. She wore a government uniform. She was serious and professional, but seemed kind and caring.

The first suspect, of course, is the individual who had Baby Girl 'Possum in custody at the time. Mike says she identified herself as "Cheryl", so let's assume she's at least telling the truth about that.

It's an absurdity that an otherwise young and healthy animal would die while in custody and under the care of a veterinarian. One can't help but equate this sort of absurdity to the "deaths by natural causes" of Iraqi detainees at Abu Ghraib. Is it any wonder that she would choose to wear a "government uniform" whereas she could probably easily dress-down to jeans and a comfortable shirt if she wanted? And "serious and professional"? There is just something very prison-guardish about this image.

A professional veterinarian supervises her and her care for her animals. Cheryl specializes in taking care of opossums, rabbits, racoons and other such animals. She loves such animals, and she tries to keep them alive and prepare them for release back into a natural environment.

This is a clear case of a woman with a God-complex, deciding which of her animals should live and which should die. And the "vet" is probably drunk or coked up all the time and doesn't care, or his silence is bought with occasional sexual favors. "She tries to keep them alive", but something tells me that her success rate might be disturbingly low. "Oppossum, rabbits, raccoons and other such animals", in other words, animals that nobody really cares about and nobody would miss if they suddenly died.

The sudden change in Baby Boy 'Possum's demeanor, and the obvious hatred he felt for "Cheryl" suggests that she may not be as kind and caring as her publicly outward appearance. Perhaps he witnessed something disturbing and traumatic once the doors of the Animal Control office were closed and locked at night, and his new demonic appearance was actually a call for help to someone he had once loved and trusted.

Suspect No. 2:

He was a little monster who hated us, who wanted to attack and bite us.

Perhaps the trauma of watching her mother and most of his siblings die horrible deaths snapped something deep inside Baby Boy 'Possum. At the very least he could be experiencing Survivor's Guilt which could trigger both suicidal and homicidal tendencies. And who better to take it out on than her preening and overbearing older sister who "just...wouldn't...leave...me...alone."

And let's be honest, who among us hasn't dreamed of a little fratricide every now. I clearly remember as a child wandering from bedside to bedside in the middle of the night, clutching a pillow, wondering which of my peacefully sleeping siblings should not wake up in the morning. Which of my siblings unfairly imposed their will on me the day before. Which of my siblings hit me, or told Mom or Dad on me. Which of my siblings laughed at me, or ripped the tie off my beloved stuffed animal.

Although no one ever talks about it, I'm sure we all did this. And frankly, I'm a little surprised that I never had a chance hallway encounter with any of you, each of us clutching our pillows, feebly making an excuse about the bathroom or sleepwalking, or the thinly veiled excuse about "not being able to sleep."

If Cheryl or any other animal-control officer is reading this, please don't be offended! My brother was just being funny.

This reminds me, however, that after Cheryl told me that the girl opossume had died, I asked how she knew that the opossum was really dead -- and wasn't just "playing 'possum."

Cheryl assured me that the veterinarian very carefully examines every animal that dies in the shelter and that there is no doubt that our baby girl opossum really did die.